A few years ago, my life changed without my consent. I can laugh about it now, but back then, all I had were tears of pain, devastation, and sorrow. I still have tears, but today, they tell a different story.

Today, I had the privilege of using my voice, a voice that once felt stolen by trauma. What an honor it is to be used by God! There was a time when my brokenness and trauma spoke louder than my faith. Over time, I began to believe what they said about me. I almost allowed the enemy to rob me of my audible voice, my influence, my power. But thanks be to God, who restores souls (Psalm 23:3), He restored my boldness, courage, and identity. I am no longer afraid of their faces (Jeremiah 1:8).

What the Father has done in me, no man can take credit for. The glory belongs to God alone. So I encourage you, sister, press toward the mark (Philippians 3:14). God’s plan for your life is so much greater than your pain. I couldn’t always see it through the heartbreak, shame, anxiety, or depression. But I never gave up. I kept walking. I became more obedient, even when I didn’t understand.

I’ll be honest. I was angry angry that God wouldn’t allow me to expose the full depth of the perversion and abuse I lived under. I wanted to scream, to tell it all. But God required my surrender before He would bring my healing. He told me I couldn’t heal what I refused to forgive. And yes, that made me mad. But He was right.

You may never understand the level of pain that infidelity brings. It is soul-shattering. I sat in that pain for a very long time. Can you imagine trying to rediscover your femininity after it feels like it was stolen? Can you imagine competing for the heart of someone who overlooked your essence because it wasn’t what they were attracted to or even worse you know what they are attracted to?

There is no pain like the pain of a woman not being chosen. I pressed on though believing that one day I would believe God when He said there was nothing wrong with me, that I am worthy of love, and that someone would love me like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25).

I held my head high, but inside, I was angry that my womanhood had failed me. How could that be? I wasn’t promiscuous. I honored my body, my heart, my soul. So to finally give all of me to someone whose desire was fleeting, that is torment at a different level when your touch can’t match the touch of someone else.

So, I say this with love: Pray for your sisters. The ones you claim to love. You may never know the intense death they are walking through with their heads held high. Don’t just flatter them with compliments. Don’t just tell them they’re strong or pretty. Know that sometimes they look that pretty because they are trying to bury pain and shame beneath the surface while seeking attention, intimacy, sex and emotions from someone that no longer reaches for her.

My voice is a weapon. It always has been. And finally, I am in a place where God can use it to help free a generation that’s rising up behind us. We can’t hide our testimonies like the generation before us. If we do, how will they know they can overcome? (Revelation 12:11)

Prayer of Encouragement
Father, I pray for every woman carrying silent pain with a bold face. Cover her heart. Lift the shame, the sorrow, and the weight of rejection. Remind her that she is worthy, seen, and loved by You. Help her to use her voice for healing. Restore her joy, her femininity, her sense of identity in You. May she never be afraid to speak, to cry, to testify. You will get the glory out of her story. In Jesus’ name, amen.

📖 Blog: Strength of a Woman Blog
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