I have the right to set boundaries. This is a truth I have had to learn the hard way. Many people who have experienced struggles like mine may not realize that suffering, when endured with faith, can be a testimony of trust in God. As Scripture teaches, we are called to “suffer well.”

“For to you, it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake.” Philippians 1:29 (NASB)

This verse reminds me that suffering is not without purpose. I am pressing forward because I want the Lord to know He can trust me, even in this.

Learning Through Giving and Loss

Helping others has always been second nature to me. Even before I fully understood what it meant to walk with Christ, I loved to serve. Giving was not just something I did it was who I was.

Then life tested that identity.

As a preacher’s wife, I watched my then-husband pour out everything to others. He gave and gave, until there was nothing left. I admired his passion for ministry, but I also saw how people’s expectations grew without limit. The more we sacrificed, the more was demanded.

Eventually, we were left with nothing. No home. No security. No one who had once received from us was there to help in return. My heart hardened. I struggled with bitterness, not just toward people, but toward God.

“The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy.” Proverbs 14:10 (NASB)

I asked myself, How could people walk away so easily after we/I had sacrificed so much?

But through time and healing, I realized my mistake I had been serving for the wrong reasons. I expected gratitude, recognition, and reciprocity. Yet God calls us to serve for Him, not for the applause of others.

“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.” Colossians 3:23 (NASB)

The Danger of Helping Without Boundaries

My ex-husband’s inability to set boundaries didn’t just harm our finances or our well-being it ultimately fractured our family. When you give without limits, you risk not only burnout but also resentment.

I ended up in a place I never imagined. Homeless. Yup, my children and I have called a women’s domestic shelter home for more than a year now. We are left rebuilding from nothing. And yet, even in that place of deep loss, God is teaching me.

Jesus Himself, the greatest servant of all, set boundaries. He withdrew to pray (Luke 5:16). He chose where to pour His energy (Mark 1:35-38). He did not allow others’ demands to control Him.

Helping others does not mean losing yourself. Serving does not mean self-destruction.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

So please, just let me rest!

Moving Forward with Wisdom and Discernment

Now, as I rebuild my life, my heart for serving others remains. But I am learning to serve with wisdom. I will help, but with discernment. I will give, but I will first seek God’s guidance.

And most of all, I will trust God to be my provider, not people.

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 (NASB)

If you have suffered from overextending yourself, I want you to know something. If you have helped to the point of exhaustion, remember this. If you have felt abandoned after giving so much, please understand: God sees you. He is not unjust to forget your labor of love (Hebrews 6:10).

And He calls you to set boundaries. Trust Him and suffer well. Know that He is faithful and will restore all that has been lost.

Keep pressing forward. God can trust you with this season. 💛

and that’s all that matters!