No one really wins in separation not the children left wondering if they are truly loved, not the full-time parent carrying the emotional and financial burden, and certainly not the parent who chooses not to show up.

Yes, the absent parent may feel sadness or regret, but they have options. They can choose to distance themselves. They can choose to ignore the hard parts of parenting. They can choose to let someone else carry the weight.

Single parents? We don’t have choices.

• We can’t decide whether or not to provide.
• We don’t get to opt out when things get tough.
• We don’t have the privilege of making empty promises with no follow-through.

And yet, we are the ones who bear the blame when things don’t add up.

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The Pain of Broken Promises

I can only assume based on what my children tell me, but the pattern is always the same:

“Daddy/Mommy said they would get me this.”
“They said they were coming, but something came up.”
“They said they just don’t have it right now.”

Yet somehow, they always have it for themselves. New clothes. New shoes. New cars. New vacations. And still, no follow-through.

And who has to pick up the pieces when reality sets in? The parent who stayed.

The one who wipes the tears.
The one who comforts the disappointment.
The one who has to teach a child that love isn’t about words it’s about action.

But what do you say when their whole world is telling them otherwise?

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Making Absent Parents Look Like Gods (Lowercase g)

The saddest part? Good single parents make the absent parent look like a god.

We do everything in our power to shield our kids from the pain of rejection. We make excuses, soften the truth, and try to make sure their hearts don’t turn bitter. We keep hope alive for them, hoping one day, the other parent will choose differently.

But the reality is, some people will never choose to show up not because they can’t, but because they don’t have to.

And yet, they still get the praise.

They are still greeted with excitement, even when they’ve done nothing to earn it.
They are still cherished, even when their presence is conditional.
They are still honored, even though they left us to do the hard work.

Nobody wins.

Not the parent who shows up.
Not the child who still believes the lies.
Not the parent who leaves, even if they pretend otherwise.

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But God Sees the One Who Stays

Even when the world doesn’t acknowledge our sacrifice, God does.

• “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
• “Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

God sees the frustration, the exhaustion, the moments when you want to scream, “Why am I the only one who cares?!”

And He wants you to know: Your faithfulness is not in vain.

One day, your children will see who was always there.
Who wiped their tears.
Who made sacrifices.
Who kept them safe, warm, and cared for when it wasn’t easy.

Your labor is not wasted.

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Encouragement for the Parent Who Feels Undervalued

If no one has told you today: You are doing a great job.

You are not failing your children.
You are not invisible.
You are doing more than enough.

And though the absent parent may never acknowledge it, God does.

• “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you.” Psalm 55:22
• “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

You may never get the thank you from the ones who should say it.
You may never get the credit for the battles you’ve fought alone.
But you will get the reward of raising children who know what true love looks like.

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A Prayer for the Single Parent

Father, I come before You weary and frustrated, carrying the weight of raising my children alone. I lift up every single parent who is tired of doing it all while watching someone else walk away with no consequences. Lord, remind us that You see us. You honor sacrifice. You are close to the brokenhearted, and You will strengthen us for the road ahead. Give us peace when we feel unseen. Give us endurance when we feel overwhelmed. And Lord, guard our children’s hearts—help them see the truth beyond empty words and grow up knowing that real love is not a promise, but a commitment. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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You Are Not Alone

If you’re navigating the weight of single parenthood and need support, encouragement, or prayer, you don’t have to do this alone.

📖 Blog: Strength of a Woman Blog
🎥 YouTube: @iAmAdonaka
📩 Email: [email protected]

💜 You are stronger than you think, and your love is enough.