Today, I had a deeply humbling conversation with my children. With trembling hands and a heart full of both sorrow and reverence, I apologized to them for the shame, pain, and confusion they’ve endured over the years. These trials have shaken us all, but I believe in the glory of God that can emerge from even the heaviest of burdens.

As we talked, I shared with them the story of Hannah from the Bible—a woman of deep faith who prayed fervently for a child. She endured ridicule and heartbreak, but she never gave up on her belief in God’s promises. In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah poured her heart out to God in the temple, misunderstood by others but heard by the Lord. When God granted her a son, Samuel, she honored her vow and gave him back to God. I told my children how I, too, have modeled my life after Hannah’s faith. When the doctors told me I could never have children after losing my son at 21, God proved them wrong. My children are my three miracles, and just like Hannah, I have lifted them up in private prayer and given them back to the Lord.

I shared my pain and my sorrow with them—the agony of feeling like I failed to shield them from the trauma and confusion that life has thrown our way. I told them that it’s not their fault and that, even through the hardest moments, my deepest desire has always been to make them feel safe, secure, and loved from the depths of my soul. I’ve spent 16 years trying to teach them unshakable faith, even though my own faith has been shaken by the trials we’ve endured.

In that moment, I reminded them of the foundation I’ve tried to lay for them—the foundation of God’s Word. I told them about my belief in the scriptures, how they teach us to love God and love others (Matthew 22:37-39). I believe in reconciliation and the importance of seeking counsel from church elders as outlined in Matthew 18:15-17. I shared the biblical principle of caring for widows and orphans (James 1:27), and how neglecting our responsibilities makes us “worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8). These truths are my compass, even though I’ve been robbed, outcasted, and betrayed.

I wept as I confessed that I’ve tried to embody holiness, strength, and resilience, even when I’ve felt broken. Parenting often presents obstacles that feel impossible to navigate. I wish I could better teach my children about the realness of spiritual warfare, integrity of God, and the boldness required to walk in faith. I hope they can see past my imperfections and recognize the essence of God’s work in me—a single mother navigating faith and motherhood with rebellious children who may not yet understand the weight of His promises.

Like Hannah, I’ve cried out to God, pleading for His mercy, guidance, and fulfillment of His promises. My hope for my children is that they will see the God who sustains us, even when the world sees us as broken. I trust that God will continue to write His story through our lives, turning what the enemy meant for harm into something beautiful (Genesis 50:20).

To anyone walking a similar path, I encourage you to keep holding on to God’s promises. He is faithful. He sees your tears, hears your prayers, and honors your faith. Keep planting seeds of love, faith, and hope, even when you can’t yet see the harvest. In God’s time, the fruit will come. Let us hold fast to this truth: “Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy” (Psalm 126:5).